Kinky Toys and Other Magical Wonders
by Muise
Summary: Collection of Kinky IchiHime one-shots, so yeah, lemons will be involved! 05: The reason Orihime doesn't eat Ichigo is...
1. Unknown Object

Disclaimer: dont own Bleach!

Warning: ummm... mistakes? in rush? XD

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><p><em><strong>Unknown Object<strong>_

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"_Orihime-chan, I want you to give this to Ichigo and tell him to use it when the time is right!"_

The only problem though, was that she didn't even know what _it _was.

The object in her hand was a small, oval shaped electronic. It was a light shade of pink and had a thin cord sticking out of it connecting to a small rectangular remote.

The auburn haired girl bit her lip, wondering why this was so important to give to her boyfriend. She pushed the object's button and felt the strong vibration coming from the oval thingy. Orihime's mouth opened and she giggled. It felt so strange.

"Inoue?" Orihime turned around and saw her orange headed mate.

"Hello, Kurosaki-kun," the beauty chimed. She smiled up at him and he returned it with a small grin.

Still fiddling with the object, Orihime jumped when it started to move and make the buzzing sound once more in her hands. Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"Um… what's that you're holding?"

"Oh, this?" Orihime unlaced her fingers and showed him the object. "Rangiku-san told me to give this to you Kurosaki-kun!"

"…"

She smiled widely and pushed the button again. "It tickles~"

_What the hell? Is she… p-playing with that…that….!_

"Oh! And she also said to give it to you so you can use it for something in the future…" she put a finger to her lip in wonder. "Well… whatever that means…"

"…"

Orihime noticed his silence.

"I-Is something wrong, Kurosaki-kun?"

"…"

Not knowing what else to do, she grasped his hand and uncurled his fingers which were in a tight fist. She placed the pink oval-thingy in his hand and curled his finger back up.

"So I guess it's yours Kurosaki-kun," she stated. "But you got to let me see it sometime so I can use it! I like the way it feels on my skin!"

"…"

"Oh no! Something is wrong with Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime panicked. "What will I do? The little blue men would have taken his brain and sold it on the black marked by now! What will-"

"Inoue…"

"Are you ok?"

"Yea, it's just…"

"What, Kurosaki-kun?"

"This… thing…"

"Hmm?"

"I think it's a…"

"A what?"

"…I think it's a v-v-vibrator." Great, now he was stuttered it out like an idiot.

"Oh, so that's what the toy's called."

"T-Toy?" Ichigo wanted it to sound like a question, but it sounded more like a denial

"Yes! Rangiku-san told me we were going to play with it sometime soon, but she wouldn't tell me how…" Orihime pouted.

"…"

"Ano… do you know how to use it Kurosaki-kun?" She asked so innocently.

But how was he supposed to tell his innocent girlfriend that it wasn't just a regular toy?

_She fucking bought us a sex toy!_

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><p>AN: yea! I like the word kinky, it sounds so kinky~! ^w^

I guess this will mostly just be filled with one-shots. Rated M because I plan to put some smust in here. Maybe with the use of "toys" during it too? XD I find myself laughing at my own jokes. Whoosh!

I take suggestions, if you have any to spare me! =3 Just send a PM or a drop a review to tell me. I need some idea's to put up on here, so give me your input on all this.

So… is this where I say review? Thank you, thank you. I like when you pat me on the head and through peanuts into my cage also~! Please just try and drop something, 'kay? I need some lovin' too! Love me, love me, oh love me~!

Friday, Friday, kicken' down on Friday~! Yesterday was Thursday (really? O_O) and tomorrow is Sa-toor-day~! (OMG! Your logic amazes me!)

I think she has a nice voice (listen to her sing on good morning America, you'll see), I just hate her lyrics. Her parents did this for her and her mom even said she could have probably killed a few people… (O_O) I read some of the comment, and a lot were really mean and nasty (D=) I don't like when people are mean, make me all sad…. T~T

R&R, yes?


	2. Doujinshi

Disclaimer: me no own Bleach or Naruto.

Warning: A little lemon, but mostly lime. Toy use? **shrugs and writes anyway**

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><p><em><strong>Doujinshi<strong>_

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It all started when Orihime asked to borrow some manga from Rukia. She had wanted to find a picture of an android to get some new ideas for her newest version of her Orihime-Bot-2.0 for art class.

The shinigami had claimed she would let the princess borrow and read through the ones she had just ordered from a human website. Rukia said it was the least she could do since Orihime chipped in to pay for the bidding money that Rukia just did not have.

Orihime thought it was a strange manga. The book was thin and had the sign "18+" on it, which made Orihime wonder. Now, she also could have sworn she had seen these character on the cover somewhere before.

Instead of continuing on with her research though, she decided to open and read the strange looking manga.

_It was slow, but passionate. He touched her like she would break in any second of any moment. His blonde locks stuck to his forehead and a thin sheet of sweat covered his skin as he went in and out of his ebony hared haired lover. Her only reactions were her pale eyes widening with every thrust and her bitten back moans._

_He smirked with arrogance that he could make her feel such a way._

_Her pale skinned cheeks were colored a dark hue of red. She clutch onto the fabric of the bed, trying her hardest not to meet that eyes of the man who was making hot liquid pool into her nether region. She felt like she was going to explode, melt away into the pleasure he was giving her._

_She hoped and wished the feeling would never go away._

_He groaned._

_It was coming…_

_She let out a scream and so did he, though it was more of a loud grunt._

_Coming together was beautiful in their eyes, a bright blue and a pale purple._

_When he start up again, he was slower. She furrowed her brows together at his action._

"_Ano…"_

"_Hmm?"_

"…_this is embarrassing to ask you, but…" she blushed. "Why are you going slower?"_

_He stopped thrusting into her to think, then answered._

"_You just… well you know… So, I thought you might want to… I don't know… Take it slow?"_

"_No I… I would rather if you just kept going the same speed as before. It's not like I am going to break."_

_He smiled at her lightly, then bent over and pecked her cheek._

"_Sure, whatever you say."_

_She blushed but kissed him back with care._

Orihime blinked, once, then again, again, again.

Images were going through the beauties mind. She had seen pictures of things she had hoped to never witness until marriage. She had just seen two people getting it on, drawn to do things that were meant to be hidden by closed doors.

Tainted… oh yes, she was tainted

Did she have to tell her boyfriend about this?

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Rukia read her manga like it was any other day. She did re-takes on the super lovey-dovey parts and giggled at the cracked up comedy. She loved her shoujo like a long last sister, but considering facts, this meant she had over hundreds of thousands of sisters.

She shrugged. Rukia had always wanted a sister. Well, she had one, but she was dead. Wait… was she dead? Or was she reincarnated? Considering she had died in Soul Society… oh forget it, it is way too confusing to even go over.

Her purple orbs scanned over her page, already forgetting just where she was until the door slammed opened revealing a very pissed off strawberry.

"What the hell is this, Rukia?" Ichigo asked and shoved a thin book in her face with a picture of a women in an erotic position with what seemed to be a leather dominatrix outfit covering her curvy body…

"Well, if you must know…" Rukia inquired skeptically. She snatched the book from his hand and pointed at the girl on the cover. "This girl with the pale eyes is from the manga called _Naruto _and this is a fan made book I got-"

A nerve twitched. "I know what it is! I just want to know why the hell Inoue had it!"

"Oh… Well, Inoue-san helped me buy it off this online website I found a few weeks ago. Since she helped me get it I let her borrow it to look over."

"…"

"Though, now that I think about it, it really doesn't even have what she was looking for in the first place…" The petite girl thought it over then shrugged. "Oh well, what's done is done."

Another twitch. "Where did you get this?"

"I believe you humans call it 'EBay' or something like that. Originally I was looking for doujin-moe but they weren't selling manga, they just gave you a sneak peek of the more mature chapters. I really don't see the point of just posting one though; they should just post the whole story instead of just sections, because if not then you don't even know what is going on…"

Before she could finish, Ichigo walked out of the room feeling embarrassed and angered. It seemed everyone was trying to taint his innocent girlfriend. First the crazy strawberry blonde and her handcuff idea, then the vibrater, and now the midget with her damn hentai!

Ichigo smacked himself in the head, but was met with something other then his hand.

A doujinshi.

_How the hell did this get back in my hands? _He wanted so bad to just throw it away, but somewhere in the back of his head the oddest temptation to open and read it came to mind. He looked over the cover, blushing that anyone would even dare to dress in such a way. Curiosity got the better of him and he opened it.

_She fell to the carpeted floor, a blush covering her from head to toe. Her hands went around and hugged herself as she tried to keep back moans of pleasure. _

_Her body was scorching hot and she dared not try and think about what was causing the feeling._

_The door to her room opened and she swerved her head to face the other direction and not look up at her boyfriend with embarrassment. He was the one who had pushed the button for this to happen. They had been out shopping around the town and all of a sudden waves of pleasure vibrated in her core. She ran back to her home with him following her with a smirk. _

_She tried to glare at him but another wave hit her and she let out a silent scream and hit her back against the floor._

_He chuckled. "Aren't you glad they made these things wireless now?"_

_Her pale orbs widened at he got closer to her. She bit back a moan as he harshly grabbed one of her breasts. She knew this wasn't going to be slow and sweet like all those other times._

"_Naru… N-Nar… ruto…-kun!"_

Looking over the other page, Ichigo already knew what was about to happen. He would rather not be a perverted otaku and read it, so he went ahead and closed it.

Ichigo went to his room in the house and sat down on his bed. An urge hit him like a ton of bricks to reach into one of his drawers. He got up and did it, but feeling some regret. There in the dead center sat the toy his girlfriend had given him only a month ago. An idea flooded his thoughts of how to use it for.

Well… Orihime was the one who wanted to know what it was for and how to use it…

So he might as well show her.

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><p>AN: **Sighs** it has been way, way, way too long and I have not even updated my stories! I feel so guilty that I updated this first!

Ugh, I have gotten addicted to a non-Bleach related pairing and I have been reading their stories nonstop sadly! Though, in my head, if I ever read and M rated one about them, it would be kinda awkward unless I think animal planet. **laughs**

Be thankful summer is coming! I'll update more when it comes and hopefully I get into the groove of writing longer and better chapters. There is a reason for you guys as to why it is taking so long.

Also, before I forget, sorry for those not fans of this Naruto pairing. I'm pretty sure you can guess as to who they are since ones names was actually said and the other has pale eyes…. Not to mention black hair!

By the cliffy you guys can guess as to what will happen in the next one right? Well, if you would, please drop a review/request! I was amazed that I got 11 in the last one, so please don't stop!


	3. Payback's a bitch

Notes: Wow, seems like forever since I wrote on this perverted collection. I love writing lemons. It's my secret pleasure... But whatever, I need to keep working on my stories.

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own the wonderful creation that is Bleach. These disclaimers remind me that I never put them on HTBB, only on a blue moon it seems... *ponders*

Warning: Lemon finally. Also usage of perverted toys which may make some readers uncomfortable or wonder about me and what's going on in my head most of the time. Also OOC, mostly in someone who you'd never expect to do such things... Hmm...

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><p><strong><em>Payback<br>_**

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When it came to sex, Orihime knew little of it. Though she and Ichigo had done it before, she didn't have the proper 'skills' for pleasuring her partner, well, at least from what she knew. She was till only seventeen after all.

She also discovered, well, was taught, how to use the toy Rangiku had given her a few months back. In fact, she was using it right now, in class, with students surrounding her and the teacher setting out the day's lesson plan. Ichigo said this would be the best way for her to learn and that she would enjoy it.

It was slightly uncomfortable. Ichigo had told her to put it... in an area she would rather not even think about right now. It was embarrassing beyond belief and her face was starting to take a small tint of pink. She also noticed that Ichigo was leering at her from his seat behind her and this made her blush even more.

Orihime shifted around in her chair, trying to grow use to the thing inside of her. It was a new sensation and she was pretty sure that she never wanted to do this again, no matter how much of a cute scowl her Kurosaki-kun did.

"Ah, Inoue-san," the teacher called from the front. She swallowed a lump in her throat and hoped he wasn't about to ask her to do what she thought he might. "Could you come up here and finish the problem on the board please?" _Bingo._

Not wanting to be rude and complain, she got up and made her way to where the black boar was. When she passed Ichigo, it happened.

She hadn't seen him pull out the wireless remote he had hidden away in his desk. She hadn't even expected him to push the damn button and make her heat... vibrate.

Vibration was the devil.

As soon as she made it to the black boar and picked up the chalk, she felt her whole body fall in a tremor of pleasure. Orihime was only successful of making one number before the chalk fell out of her grasp and she along with it, her shaking legs no longer able to hold up her weight.

Students gasped as she sank down the the ground. Orihime immediately covered her mouth with one of her hands to hide a moan that threatened the escape. Sitting down had only made it worse by pushing the vibrator farther into her heat.

_Oh... Oh my gosh..._

This was becoming worse by the passing second. She could clearly feel the eyes of her friends and her boyfriend's as well. Tatsuki, Rukia, Chad, and Uryuu all looking at her with deep concern and worry. While her orange headed lover, unlike the rest, was trying to hide the smirk on his face.

It was during these few moments that Orihime wondered what she had done to Ichigo to make her do something as embarrassing as this. Was it because she showed him this vibrator? Because she had helped Rukia buy that erotic looking manga a few days ago? What had she done to make him so... sex craving?

"Are you alright Inoue-san?" The teacher asked concern. She didn't answer him in fear of being discovered in such a situation. Her belly was already being filled with what felt like magma seeping inside. "Do you need to go to the nurse?"

"H... Hai..." she stuttered softly.

"Ok then... will anyone be willing to take Inoue-san to the nurse?" The teacher looked around the room. Tatsuki was about to raise her hand, but someone beat her to it.

"I will, Sensei."

He nodded. "Thank you..."

_No... No, no..._

"...Kurosaki-san."

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The walk was deathly silent. Orihime had kept her head down the whole time, not wanting to look at Ichigo for even a second.

They had entered the nurses office, only to discover it was mysteriously empty for some reason.

Orihime didn't have much time to think, do to the fact that Ichigo had pushed her onto one of the beds after they entered. She heard the lock on the door click shut.

_Uh oh..._

His bangs covered his eyes giving a dark air around him. The auburn haired healer backed away till her back hit the wall and she squeaked out loud when Ichigo's hand made its way up her thigh and into her panties.

"Kuro-Kurosaki-kun! W-What are you doing?"

He didn't answer her, but kept moving his hand against her sensitive area. She wrapped her arms around his neck when she felt him remove the vibrator. She breathed out small gasp of pleasure and the room grew hotter then ever. Orihime squeezed her eyes closed and bit down on her lower lip, feeling her orgasm hit as he pressed the pink device into her nub.

"Do you understand what it's for now, Inoue?" His tone was strange, a mixture of seriousness and a odd sense of humor. She held on tighter, not wanting him to see her red face.

It was at this time she cursed herself for being so innocent. She had thought such an object was a small toy at which you could just simply play with. Not something that could give you heated pleasure in just seconds.

"I-I... I understand..." She gulped. "I... I k-know what i-it's for no-now..."

He gave a low growl. "Then show me."

Ichigo dragged down her panties in one go. Orihime released him and gave him a look of complete and utter horror at what he was wanting to do. She wasn't about to have sex on school grounds! Sure she was in the mood from whatever that pink thing had done to her, but she couldn't possibly do it where teachers and students walked by. They could be caught and maybe even suspended!

"N-No, we can't do it in the nurse's office! Someone might come-" she was cut off when he connected their lips in a harsh and bruising kiss. His hands went up and caressed her sides with light touches, teasing even. Ichigo forced his tongue in and swallowed the healer's moan.

For someone who liked to act quiet, he was an extremely good kisser. Not that she really minds though...

Besides, it was always the quiet ones anyway.

When his erection was released from his pants, Orihime would help but gasp at how big he had gotten. Did she really turn him on this much?

Ichigo was being impatient. Their lips connected again, but she knew it was to distract her from the fact that his shaft was hovering over her awaiting heat. He was ready to pounce at any given time, and Orihime couldn't help but love it.

The hard tip brushed against her lower lips, causing her to shiver. His hands were working on the buttons of her school shirt, and she on his. They untucked each others shirts and pushed it off their shoulder. Orihime was happy to see him naked underneath. His well muscled chest a very nice sight to see for any female, she being the lucky one to see it in the flesh. Damn girls who were scared of him didn't know what they were missing. But as for Ichigo, he grunted his dissatisfaction at her wearing a bra.

Already knowing what he was planning on, she gave him a cute glare. "You can't rip my bra off, Kurosaki-kun."

He only grunted in response.

She quickly unhooked it before he could even try. It slipped off her shoulder and gave Ichigo a front row view of her well endowed chest. What some men in the school dreamed of he actually got to touch and see.

He took one of the twins in his hands, using his thumb to roll her nipples. Ichigo took one of her peeks into his mouth and gave it teasing bites and sucks. Orihime arched her back, letting him have better access to her full mounds. Small mewls escaped her lips with each soft bite.

When he finally entered her, Orihime let her fingers run through his soft locks of orange hair. With each thrust, her grasp grew stronger. Lips trailed kisses from her breasts to her neck. Ichigo nipped and sucked till he reached her plump pink lips, taking them with force that wasn't needed since she wanted this as well.

"Kursaki-kun... I..."

"Hmm?"

She gulped softly. "I-"

The door opened.

"Hey Orihime, how are you feel-"

"..." Ichigo scowled.

"T-T-Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime hid her face.

"..."

"..."

"Yo, Tatsuki." Ichigo grinned.

With gritted teeth, she slammed the door.

"I'm going to fucking kill you Ichigo Kurosaki!"


	4. Thinking of Cream

Notes: Another short, this one more perverted and funny. Just to clear up some questions you guys had last time.

Disclaimer: Bleach © Kubo Tite

Warning: Angry Tatsuki, perverted words, poor student who is lying on dirty sheets, and use of cream and strawberries… sort of.

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><p><em><strong>Thinking of Cream<strong>_

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"That was horrible."

Orihime looked at her friend, confused as to what she was talking about.

"What's horrible, Tatsuki-chan?" Orihime asked and poked her near her rib cage.

"Gee, let me think," Tatsuki said sarcastically. "Between your taste in food and the way Ichigo was humping you a few minutes ago, I'd have to go with the R-rated scene that made me want to gorge my eyes out."

He auburn haired girl pouted. "Kurosaki-kun wasn't humping me, we were-"

"Please tell me you weren't about to say what I think you were going to say," the spiky haired girl sweat dropped.

"What? That me and Kurosaki-kun were only playing with a toy?"

_Oh God, please help me. _"And you guys didn't care to lock the door because…?"

"Eh? But we did lock the door Tatsuki-chan! I even squealed at Kurosaki-kun for doing so," Orihime stated with a small wag of her index finger.

Tatsuki knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. When she had tried to open the door it was a piece of cake.

_The lock must be broken then…_

"I swear Orihime, I'll never know how you can even do or touch Ichigo's…. ugh."

"Oh, well, that's easy Tatsuki-chan," Orihime began. "When I put it in my mouth, I simply imagine the tip is a big red strawberry! And that it has cream on it, so I lick the cream off the tip slowly and-"

"STOP," Tatsuki screeched and tumbled off the bed they had been sitting on. Her face was completely red at what her friend had just told her in broad day light. "I do not want to hear about you giving your boyfriend a blowjob!"

"But Tatsuki-ch-"

Tatsuki covered her mouth before she could comment further on the topic. She signed.

"Can we just go back to class Hime," Tatsuki said under her breath. Ichigo had already gone back to class because Tatsuki had threatened him.

"'Kay… But what about the bed? I mean, we can't just leave it like that…"

Tatsuki had already begun pulling Orihime out of the nurse's office.

"We'll let the nurse deal with that, I'm sure this has happens plenty of times before."

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"Uh… Sensei…"

The nurse looked at her student who was lying down on one of the two beds she had.

"What is it Hotori-san?"

"There… is something wet and sticky on the sheets… it's white too-"

"Dammit" she cursed and ushered him to get off the bed. "Why does this always happen when I go out for lunch?"

Two orange headed teens sneezed and felt a sudden cold shiver go up their spines as they walked their own way to their lunch period hand in hand.


	5. Considering the Obvious

_**Considering the Obvious**_

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"So today we will be practicing by using strawberries," a cheerful Rangiku said to her three person class.

Rukia was the first to roll her eyes. Tatsuki simply scowled as the bowl was set on the table in front of them. Orihime pouted and began to speak.

"But Rangiku-san I-"

"Hush now, Orihime-chan," Rangiku chided. "While I teach you girls some tips, you shall address me as 'Sensei' and also raise your hand before speaking." The older woman stated calmly. She stood up and pointed to the bowl of strawberries. "Now, I want you all to get on and bite into and tell me what you think, got it?"

Orihime raised her hand.

Rangiku sighed.

"Not now Orihime-chan, please follow through with this lesson, ok?"

Rangiku handed each girl a big strawberry, Tatsuki and Rukia went ahead and bit into theirs without a problem. Orihime was the only one left staring at hers with a confusing frown.

"Uh, Rangi- Ur… Sensei," Orihime said and glanced at Rangiku, playing with the strawberry between her fingers.

"Why aren't you eating you strawberry yet?"

"Well…"

"Will it be easier if I tell you to think it is Ichigo and you should just gobble it right up?"

Orihime pouted.

"Wouldn't that be considered cannibalism, Rangiku-sensei? I mean, they are the same thing after all, right?"

"If you consider his blood a bit sour, then by all means yes."

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><p><span>Notes<span>: I wanted to do something shorter then the usual thing. I just so happen to bump into this idea when I was going through some old files of mine in my old desk top computer. I was thinking about deleting it since it was too short for my taste, but then somehow I got the idea I could put it in here…?

Seems to me like Rangiku would put together a sex class, haha. I guess I left room for an open ending seeing as how it is three in the morning where I'm at. I've been having trouble sleeping lately.

Too lazy to write a disclaimer or a warning, mostly because there is nothing really r rated right here. I might try to keep all the upcoming ones more smutty then funny. What do you guys think?


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